Schrödinger's Cat
by CooperJackson
Summary: You never know what your walking into, or what will be your last moment. For Jane Rizzoli, she knew that she loved Maura Isles, but she didn't know if she would make it out alive.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Rizzoli and Isles.

* * *

Why Jane Rizzoli let herself get into these situations, she would never know. Though of course she didn't actually let herself get into these situations, more like she found herself in them.

Often.

But this time was different. There was a gunman with a room full of hostages, at least three dead bodies lying around, and possibly more. Several wounded and shot lying around, murmuring their pain, slowly dragging themselves away. And several hundred frightened and scared college kids and one crazy kid with an automatic record.

And all she had was a badge and a 9mm.

Yep, she wondered.

"I want to talk to Rizzoli!"

Again, wondering why.

"Rizzoli, no." This was from Frost. Though his voice was weak, and his tone small, Jane knew that Frost knew that she would do it. It was in her blood, the need to protect the weak and frightened.

"Janie. Please, this is not good." Korsak's voice was stronger and full of more conviction than Frosts, but it didn't matter to him either, he knew that she would do it.

"Jane." This was the one that would stop her. Maura. Jane had known for some time that she had deeper feelings for her best friend, but now was not the time for it.

Gunshots burst randomly and screams ripped through the air, and Maura tucked herself more firmly to Jane, who in turn wrapped her arm around the smaller one, shielding the blonde from the danger.

"Detective. Jane. Rizzoli. Now." Each word was punctuated with another gunshot. Jane knew that she had to stand up quickly, or else face the consequences of another dead body on her hands. This kid didn't need that either.

"Give me a minute." She called back, hoping that he would give in.

"Fifteen seconds." Was the response and she called back.

"Please Jane. Don't do this." Maura asked quietly, lowly so only that Jane could hear her, and Jane turned to look into Maura's eyes, the hazel orbs holding all of the fear that Jane knew that she was feeling, and an endless plethora of emotions that she couldn't describe. Couldn't even begin to fathom what went on in the head of one Dr Maura Isles.

"I have to Maura. Frost, Korsak if this starts going wrong, take the shot. And get Maura out of here." Her sergeant and her partner both nodded, and Frost started sending out mass texts. The swirling red and blue lights could be seen through the windows.

Jane straightened her vest, holstered her gun, and looked away from Maura, knowing that one look into the eyes that she loved, she would stop. And that couldn't happen. This kid needed to be stopped, and he knew her name, she had to do what she had to do.

Even if it meant carrying her secret with her a little longer into the face of one more psycho.

Standing quickly, she walked out from the upended table they were hidden behind and raised her hands. The scars stood out starkly pink against the white of her hands. Swallowing thickly, she walked toward the young man, sneaking one last look at her friends, she walked towards what could possibly be the last thing she ever faced.

Yep, how did she get herself into these situations, that would be a tough question to answer.

"Detective Rizzoli. How _nice_ to finally meet you." He was wearing a bulky zip up sweater, probably hiding more guns or ammo, thick heavy sunglasses, and held two very large guns in his hands.

"And you are?" She asked, taking a couple of steps towards the kid, one gun trained on her. This she was used to.

"You don't know?" That was anger. Real anger, Jane was familiar with anger. It was good, the anger let people see clearly. It also made them act on things they wouldn't normally do, and turned a young man into a gun wielding murderer.

But the gun she could handle.

"Should I?" She asked, hoping that the kid wouldn't pull the trigger.

"You're looking for me."

It seems the campus murders they've been investigating were all a ruse to get them here.

But she would play along.

"Am I?"

The gun not pointed at her went off, riddling the ceiling with more holes, and causing more screams to fill the air.

"Don't play dumb with me!"

"Okay! Okay, I'm sorry." She replied quickly, straightening.

"Janie, are you okay?" Korsak called. Worry filling his voice, as his head popped up over the table.

"Fine Vince, you guys?"

No response was a good thing. She wanted to keep Maura safe, and Korsak and Frost too. But mostly Maura.

"You killed those girls didn't you? To get us here." She replied, knowing that he knew.

"Good. I can see that you're not as stupid as they make you out to seem." He was pacing now, students were slinking away from him, the school's cafeteria on lock down.

"You're obviously very smart Jeremy, you know this can't end well." She took another step closer to him while he wasn't watching, hoping that she could get close enough to him, to start getting some of these kids out of the danger of this crazy kid.

"I am smart."

"But why me?" She asked. Maybe he could answer her questions.

"Why not? The internet told me too. Your name came up the most, and that thing with Hoyt, you killed him, you stopped him. It says you care."

"What do I care about?"

"People Jane, you care about people."

"Do you care about people Jeremy?"

"Why should I? They never cared about me!"

"I care Jeremy. I care about you."

"No you don't!" He screamed, his guns flailing about, stray bullets spilling out of the pockets of his sweater. "You care about stopping me!"

"You're right Jeremy. I do care about stopping you. But I also care about you. This isn't you. I've seen your file. You're a smart guy. You know that this can't end well for you." Jane was currently wondering if this was a futile endeavor. It may be, but she was a fighter, she wouldn't let this kid beat her.

"This will end the way I want it to end." The turn that his voice took sent shivers down Jane's spine. Something about his darkly serious tone started alarms in her head that there may be some aspect of this hostage situation that they didn't anticipate.

Though they hadn't planned on confronting a crazed gunman when they came to make the arrest. Perhaps Jeremy was smarter than she realized.

"And how is that Jeremy?" She asked, somewhat fearing what his response may be.

"This." It was as if the world, and every clock in it, decided that this moment was a good one to slow down in. She can hear each zipper tooth pop free of its confines. She can feel the push and pull of the blood in her veins with each thunderous beat of her traitorous heart. And as the wires and blocks of plastic explosives became ever more visible, she could smell the soft citrusy, vanilla, spicy, berry scent that Maura was fond of.

The bomb strapped to his chest was now on display, and the clocks inexplicitly sped up as screams filled the air.

"Shit." She swore under her breath and had to fight every urge to run away. She needed to keep this campus safe and find a way to keep Jeremy safe.

Though she wasn't as concerned with that as she ought to be at this moment.

"Janie?" She would let the nickname slide, just this once, because hey… a bomb.

"Dynamite. Vince, dynamite." She responded while Jeremy hitched a smug smile on his smug little face.

"Does that mean what I think it means?"

"I wish it didn't."

Jane took a deep breath, held it for a second and let it out through her nose, contemplating the best way to end this situation. She wasn't wearing a vest, not many detectives did, and she wasn't a trained negotiator. Nor would she let an another person come in here, she was concerned with getting people out.

"Jeremy, this is incredibly stupid." Christ, she was stupid.

"So was coming in here unprotected and without backup." Same smug smile, and Jane no longer cared about his safety. She needed to get Maura out. She needed to get Korsak and Frost out. She needed to get these kids out, but really she just needed to get Maura out.

She thought it interesting to note that nowhere there did she think about getting herself out. These situations and all.

"Jeremy, what do you want?"

"I want to be remembered! And respected!" He shouted, finally bringing his gun to point at Jane. But she wasn't scared. If that is what he wanted, she could give him that and she could handle the gun pointed at her.

"Killing yourself won't get that done. That will just end up with you dead. Forgotten and pitied." She said, raising her hands and taking a step towards him.

"No, but killing Detective Jane Rizzoli will. Charles Hoyt, Dennis Rockmond and the Bread Maker. Boston's own. And here I am, ready to take you down."

Jane suddenly knew how she got herself into these situations. There were bad men. She hoped that it was bad men that were drawn to her, well – her and Maura because Dennis the crazy was more Maura than her, but that was… a train of thought for another time. Bad men needed to be stopped, and that was what Jane did.

Because she didn't want what happened to her, to happen to anyone else.

"Then I'll make you a deal." She paused, and he nodded, his hand steady on the gun as he pointed it her chest. She looked back at her partner's and Maura, the honey blonde hair still perfect in the chaos, hazel green eyes filled with fear and other things… still things Jane didn't want to analyze.

Turning back to Jeremy, Jane pushed Maura from her mind, and her heart, as she said the next words. "You let everyone else go, I'll stay with you."

Jane heard Maura whisper a frantic no, and heard Frost console her, but her eyes were fixed on Jeremy, his eyes dark and intense as she pondered the over. His response wasn't verbal, but at his nod, Jane yelled to the room.

"Everybody, run, now." The commotion was instantaneous. Screams filled the air as hundreds of bodies fled the room.

"Jane. Rizzoli! Come on."

"No, Vince. It was them or me. Go. I got this."

"Jane."

"Frost. Go."

"Janie… please." That voice, her voice, was the one that could end her right now. Because she was in love with Maura. Yes, in the face of almost certain death, Jane could finally admit that she loved the medical examiner.

Perhaps that was worth examining at a later date. If she got a later date.

"Maura, go with Frost and Korsak. Please." She didn't – couldn't – wouldn't? – face Maura, because then she would go to her, dooming them all.

The room was empty now, except for the five of them, and it was suddenly eerily quiet, she could hear Jeremy's soft, calm breaths and she could hear the police chatter and see the hubbub outside as barricades were pushed back. The fire alarm strobe lights were flashing now, and Jane was sure she could hear the electrical click as they flashed their warning and the rest of the campus was evacuated.

"Jane, no. Don't do this." Maura called again, and the note of desperation in her voice was once again nearly Jane's undoing.

"Frost, Korsak get her out of here. Maura, go with them. I love you, okay." She'd said the words before, but never with the direct intonation and Jane knew that Maura knew that this time had been different.

As Maura's yell ripped through the cafeteria, Jane had to turn and watch as Frost basically manhandled Maura out the door. Jimmy Choo's flailing, Chanel dress flapping as dressed woman is carried out the door.

"Last chance Jane."

"Go Korsak."

She turned back to Jeremy, his lips upturned into a small smile.

"So, you've got me here alone. Now what?"


	2. Chapter 2

This is what dying must feel like.

Not that Maura Isles had ever contemplated the thought before, who in their daily fulfilled lives did, but surely this, this is what dying felt like.

The deep, unending, soul-crushing, abyss of emotional darkness she found herself in, surely this, if nothing else, was dying.

But it wasn't emptiness that she felt, because as a scientist she didn't believe in an afterlife, which may be a downfall in this moment, but surely if she were dead, she wouldn't be feeling at all.

And boy, was she feeling.

The hematomas forming from where Barry's arms had pulled her from the cafeteria and away from Jane, the rising heat level of the back of the car where Barry had shut her away, the sticky vinyl seat under her legs, holding her up, holding her together. But those were physical things. Tangible things, things she could explain easily, it was the rest… the emotions she couldn't explain.

She knew that she loved Jane. More than the love of the best friend she had never had, more than the sisterly bond some claimed they had, and more than she had ever loved anyone else before. She knew that she loved Jane Rizzoli in a way that was tangible from the looks that they shared, the touches that lingered too long and the way that she could feel Jane's presence from across a crowded room.

Could feel Jane in the way that her skin erupted with piloerection, the way sweat inexplicably pooled in her palms, her heart rate increased, pupils dilated, the rush of hormones from her brain to her body. There were a hundred different ways that Maura knew she loved Jane, and finally, after Jane had voiced the same feelings, Maura was locked in a car while Jane faced a child with an automatic weapon and no one to back her up.

That was Jane's greatest fault. Not her hubris, which was likely to blame, not the way Jane stood tall and strong and faced every challenge headlong, no, those weren't to blame. It was plain and utter stupidity. Jane had once called her the dumbest genius she knew, and while Maura wasn't quite sure what that meant, Jane was by far the most stupid person she had ever loved.

And Maura didn't love stupid people. But she loved Jane, with her whole heart, and now when she stood there alone, facing death once again, Maura rued the strength that Jane had, and Jane's trust in that strength to carry her through the bad, the broken and the desperate alone, and without backup.

So she sat, hands folded neatly in her lap, back straight, shoulders set, and tears flowing down her cheeks, her police car a quiet oasis in a sea of chaos. She could see the fine men of the Boston Police Department Bomb Squad suiting up, getting specs from Vince and Barry. She could see innocent teenagers standing around, holding each other safe from the hell from which they'd just come, police officers walking among them, taking statements and offering pats of solace to everyone they came across.

She could even see her Jane, yes – her Jane, still standing, still speaking with the young man that had the bomb strapped to his chest, still pointing his gun at Jane.

Barry had been right to lock her in the car. If he hadn't, she would still be fighting her way to Jane, and that isn't what Jane wanted. She trusted Jane, even with this, and she hoped that Jane would make it out to her. She was angry with Jane, no doubt, for making that proclamation of love then staying behind, and Jane would know her anger, but that isn't what Jane needed right now. Jane needed her here, safe and away from Jeremy. That is what she could do for Jane.

Sit.

And wait.

Shed her tears.

And wait.

That is what she could do.

And she would do it well.

~YouSayGoodBye~SchrödingerSays~

This was not going well.

Not that she was dead yet, then that wouldn't be good, for her at least, but she was not dead. So that's a win.

Sort of.

"Do you want to die Jeremy?" It was kind of a dumb question, Jane knew that. Knew that asking a man with a bomb strapped to his chest was a dumb idea, but Jane liked the paradoxical nature of the situation.

"Not really."

Maybe not so dumb after all.

"Me neither, but you seem pretty intent on killing me. Why haven't you done that yet?" Jeremy had stopped pointing his gun at her as soon as Maura was out the door. He was as shocked by that as she was.

"That lady that the guy pulled out, the Doctor, she your girlfriend?" Jeremy asked, his eyes scanning the crowd through the large windows. Cops with guns sat behind barricades, the bomb squad was there, Frost and Korsak paced, she couldn't see Maura, which meant that she was safe and far away from here.

"No." _Sadly. Cool it Rizzoli, know is not the time to drift into the how does Maura look naked daydreams._ Even saying it, her mind went there anyway and she felt herself smile.

"Your smile says otherwise."

"She's not my girlfriend Jeremy."

"But you told her you love her." For the first time, his voice wavered. And Jane knew that this was her chance. Her chance at redemption with Jeremy and this situation, and her chance at a chance with Maura.

"I do love her." She answered honestly, finally feeling safe enough to put her hands down. "I figured if I were going to die here, she ought to know."

"So, don't you think that's a little bit selfish too?" There was no anger in his voice, he was genuinely curious about her love life.

"Maybe. But I love her, and I wanted her to know that she was the one that my heart wanted, and that when I stayed behind, offering my life to you, that it was for her." Really it had been for all of them, but mostly for Maura. Because when Maura was in danger, Jane couldn't think straight. (The humor in the double entendre was not lost on Jane.)

"Does she love you back?" Jeremy asked.

"I think so." Jane knew that the physical attraction that she'd felt for a long time went both ways, the looks, the touches, everything, but love? She wasn't sure.

"Why all the questions Jeremy?" She wanted to know.

"Remember how I said I wanted respect, and to be remembered?" She nodded, and he took his sunglasses off, his dark blue eyes were red and puffy, tears rolled from his eyes in a quiet stream down his cheeks. "Why didn't that happen?"

"I think your methods are a little weird." She chuckled once, and saw his smile. Maybe she could get them out of this after all.

"Maybe." He agreed. "I think you should go."

What? That couldn't be good. Go, that wasn't their deal. Their deal was her life for everyone else's.

"No, Jeremy. Not without you." She said, afraid that he was going to do what he insinuated.

"You know what saved you Jane? Love. I've never been loved. Not by my parents, not by my friends, if you could call them that. No one's has loved me Jane. Do you know what that's like?" The guns in his hands started to shake a little, the strain of the weapons in his hands coming through. His self control starting to ebb.

Jane was finally starting to get scared that she might not make it out. She started this knowing that she probably wouldn't, but never had she contemplated not getting out. She had her ups and downs, but had never resigned herself to death, not even when she offered her life to him.

"No, no I don't Jeremy." Jane was surrounded by love. Her Ma, bless her soul, Frankie and Tommy, even her Pa in his own way, Frost and Korsak, and Maura. Jane was wholly and completely loved. Couldn't fathom not being loved.

"No one loves me. But you have the Doctor." He dropped on of his guns and reached for something by the bomb on his chest and pulled away a trigger of some sort, pointing his other gun at the window. "Go Jane. Remember me."

"Jeremy!" Her scream was cut off as her started yelling and firing his gun at the window, the sound deafening. Jane started, turned and ran hoping to make it out before the bomb went off.

~ISayHello~HelloHello~IDon'tKnowWhyYouSayGoodbye

As Jeremy started shooting the windows out, Maura ducked her head, fear overtaking her heart for Jane, as the police started firing back. Maura knew her head had been down for only a few seconds, maybe more as an a massive explosion rocked her oasis and shattered glass rained down upon her.

More seconds trickled by until Barry opened the door beside her and pulled her out, covering her body with his as debris and ashes rained down upon them.

Finally the projectiles stopped, and Maura freed herself from Barry, a strangled cry loosening itself from her lips as she called for Jane. Surely Jane had survived.

Not knowing, this is what death was.


	3. Chapter 3

This day could not have gone any worse.

Maura would not like that term. Because of course it could have gone worse. She could have died. Parts of her though she was dead. But she was breathing, and bleeding, and most definitely not dead.

So maybe it could have gone worse.

Maybe she would change this thought process to this day could have gone better.

Then it hit her.

Jeremy was dead. Of that she had no doubt, she hadn't made it far enough away for him to have made it away, and suddenly she was incredibly sad. She knew she shouldn't be sad, he had killed at least nine people, injured countless more, and nearly killed her too, but in the seven and a half minutes she'd spent alone with him, she had started to root for him.

And now he was dead. Part of her was grateful his pain was over, but saddened that he had to kill himself to get that peace.

Pushing him from her mind, Jane shifter her thoughts to Maura. Getting to Maura. Telling Maura that she was alive, and that she loved her. Tell her when she was alive, and Jane was alive, and not when Jane was walking to her death, forcing Maura away from her.

And getting medical help because she was pretty sure her arm was broken. Luckily it was her right arm, so her shooting hand would be fine, but sadly because her writing hand was fine, she would be riding the desk for a good long time. She could live with that.

Using a nearby wall, she half pushed, half pulled herself up and started to work her way outside. Part of her mind noticed that if this were a movie, this would be the climax to a ridiculously slow motion scene set just after the explosion. The hero, not that she thinks of herself as a hero, walks out of the rubble, smoke and fire in the background, tendrils of the smoke wrapping around her legs as she moved through the rolling smoke as she made her triumphant exit.

Then she tripped on a hunk of cinder block.

Most definitely not a hero.

And she was okay with that.

Pushing herself up again, she stood gingerly, supporting her limp right arm with her left and looking for Maura.

Frost was who she saw first, his suit torn and tattered, his body covering Maura's. Every ounce of pain leaving her, as she half ran, half stumbled to Maura.

It seemed Maura saw her at the same time, and Jane's heart soared as Maura pushed past Barry and started running towards her. They met somewhere in the middle, and a hug wave of relief washed over Jane as she held Maura in her arms. Arm. Because her right arm was painfully pinned between them in what may have been the tightest hug in the history of the world.

"Jane." Maura whispered, voice thick with unshed tears.

"Maura," Jane whispered back, holding tightly to the smaller woman in her arms, feeling the love she felt reciprocated back to her.

"Jane, next time you tell me you love me, you'd better not be walking to your death." Jane felt Maura pull back, her hug loosening as she moved away, and Jane loosened her own arm, not fully, wanting to keep her close.

"I promise." Jane pulled the head of honey blonde hair closer, and rested her forehead against Maura's, breathing in the same hair, lips so close together, but the were at least a thousand people milling about, Jane didn't want their first kiss to be shared by so many.

Oddly enough, she was not concerned with the fact that they were two women, as far as Jane was concerned, this was meant to be.

"Maura, I think my arm is broken, and you're crushing it." Jane whispered, the pain finally catching up to her.

"I know. I can feel the radial spiral fracture of the radius and the ulna." Though her words expressed understanding, the doctor didn't pull back from Jane, and the detective couldn't figure a reason to be mad.

"Maura," Jane pulled her head back and looked into the eyes that she loved, the hazel orbs, specks of green and gold all mixed together, long eye lashes, even the small cuts on her cheeks were lovely. "I love you."

~Don'tKnowWhyYouSayGoodbyeISayHel lo~

Maura sat besides Jane's bed, the detectives hand in hers, as she waited for the detective to wake from her surgery. The fractures Jane had suffered required surgery to correct, and small plates to be fastened to the bones. It was going to be hard for Jane to get used to the fact that she now had medical steel in her wrist, but Maura found the thought endearing.

Her bionic woman, as it were. Not that she'd ever watched that show, she preferred the discovery channel, or national geographic, she used to love the history channel, but all they seemed to play was that horrible show Pawn Stars which was not history.

Though that was neither here nor there.

The doctors had shown her the incisions, the half cast only there so the stitches could be reached in a week to be taken out, and the hemavac could be installed, irrigating the wound of any extra blood and helping Jane to heal.

There would be scarring, like the one currently under her thumb, and Jane would carry that with her for the rest of her days, and Maura knew that she would look at it as the badge of honor that it would be, and a reminder of this day.

The day that Maura knew was the beginning of the rest of her – their – life. And she would be there for it all.

"Morning." Jane's finger's squeezed her and Maura watched as the dark chocolate eyes she loved blinked open lazily, pupils dilated with the pain medication that was no doubt still coursing through her veins. Technically, Maura shouldn't be here, but she knew the doctor on shift, and the burses had been told to leave her be.

"Technically, it's good evening, as it's only 10:30." Maura informed Jane, squeezing the fingers that were in her grasp, Jane rolling towards her, inherently tucking her broken right wrist on the bed. Maura still lifted it lightly, and pulled a pillow under the limb, and resting the broken appendage on it, quickly taking Jane's hand back in hers, and smiling down at her as she scooted her chair closer.

"Shh, am waking up, must be morning." Even her words came out slow and mumbled, but Maura found herself giving into the endearing qualities.

"You logic is flawed, sweetie." Maura replied, reaching over and tucking an errant strand of hair behind Jane's ear, fingers lingering on high cheekbones and soft skin.

"No big words." Jane complained, her head turning into Maura's fingers.

"Sorry. Are you sleepy?" Maura took note of the heavy eyelids, the way Jane was breathing deep and even, and slurring her words. She was content to just watch Jane sleep, but she would do what Jane wanted, whatever that was.

"No. Not sleepy, wanna talk. Ask questions." Jane shifted her body slightly towards Maura and the blonde leaned in to her, heads bent towards each other.

"Big questions or little questions?" Maura whispered, falling deeper in love with Jane and her current state of sobriety, or lack there of.

"Whatever. You ask I answer. It's how it works." Jane said, snuggling deeper into her hospital bed.

Maura noted that Jane might me a little more forthcoming now than when she were sober. So she decided to ask the one question she knew Jane wouldn't want to answer when she was of sound mind. Though it may be a little unethical, Maura was certain that Jane wouldn't mind too much.

Or so she hoped. But she continued on, ready to face the consequences of her actions.

"What saved you back there Jane? Why did he let you go? His psychological profile indicated that he wouldn't do something like that. He was focused, dedicated, he wouldn't have let you go." Maura knew that she said a lot of words, and big words, which she had been expressly forbidden to say.

Jane's brow furrowed and smoothed almost instantly, as she replied, "Love."

"Still feeling the morphine, are we?" Maura asked, loving the way Jane sounded when she was under the influence.

"No. He said love saved me." Jane intoned 'love' with a silly smile, and gripped her fingers tighter.

"I'm not sure I understand."

"He said that love saved me because he'd never been loved. He loved love and no one ever loved him." Maura had been drunk with Jane, and even alcohol didn't leave Jane this wordy. Though wordy Jane wasn't ever a thing.

Maura loved wordy Jane.

"He said that?"

"Yeah. Then he called me selfish." The face Jane made elicited a laugh from Maura that made Jane smile.

"Why would he call you selfish?" Jane was the least selfish person Maura knew, and not that she knew a lot of people, but Jane was pretty selfless, as indicated by the broken wrist in her hand.

"'Cause I made Barrold," Barry's full name came out as a giggle, and Maura couldn't help but smile, "Take Maura away when I stayed to die." Which immediately was lost at that end.

"Yeah…" She had to know. "About that…"

"I know… bad Jane." Jane frowned at her own sentence and Maura smoothed her fingers over the worry lines on Jane's forehead, and bringing the hand in hers to her lips and kissing it.

"Yes, bad Jane." The words were said with love and devotion. Because though Jane did a very bad thing, Maura couldn't blame her. "Why did you do that anyway?" But she did want to know. In her opinion, all the detective had done was be herself, and that was a selfless, honorable person thinking not of herself, but of others. How did Jane see the same actions in herself.

"He wanted me. Just me. Had to save Maura."

So, almost the same. But also apparently not the end of the thought as Jane continued on after a slight pause. "She's pretty. I love Maura. Doctor. Maura. Isles. Even her name is pretty."

"Jane, I'm Maura. You must be really under the influence." She smiled as she said the words, her heart light and warm at Jane's sloppy admission.

"I'm high as a motherfucker." Jane laughed at her own words, and giggled into her pillow, giving Maura a slightly shy look.

"While I oppose such language, I suppose we can let your drug addled candor slide." Jane smiled with all of her face, sleep ridden eyes shining with getting away with her swear word.

"Is this morphine?" Jane asked bringing their joined hands in to rest in front of her eyes, the chocolaty orbs struggling to focus on the IV in her hand.

"Yes. Which, evidently, is the secret to getting you to talk a lot."

"He asked if Maura was my girlfriend." Maura was taken aback. How long had Jane been in their alone with Jeremy? By her calculations, which she was sure were fairly accurate, only seven minutes, obviously she and Jeremy had talked a lot.

"What did you say?" The M.E. knew that she was milking this inebriation for all it was worth.

"Not yet." The detective didn't even have the grace to look abashed at her confession. Perhaps that was the morphine.

"We can work on it." Maura knew that they would. Because all of the sudden, that thought, Jane as her girlfriend, she as Jane's, belonging to Jane in such a fashion burst fully into her conscious mind, and Maura found that it was as welcome as Jane's admission of love.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Jane asked, worry once again lining her features. Maura bent forward and kissed Jane's cheek. She probably should stop letting Jane spill her innermost secrets in this state, but the detective was adorable in this state, and her curiosity was peaked.

Worst case scenario, she would blame her love of science and the scientific method and natural curiosity.

"You can tell me absolutely anything, I'd like to be your secret keeper, and whatever you have to say to me will stay with me."

"Huh?"

"Yes, sweetie, tell me your secret."

"I'm in love with Maura." Jane admitted on a huff, squeezing the fingers in her hand.

"That's not really a secret." Maura laughed, loving the words. Even on the drugs, Jane knew just the way to make her heart melt.

"Not there yet, shh, let me finish."

"Oh, sorry, please continue."

"Mmm," Jane said on a smile, obviously thinking about something pleasant. "Maura's too good for me."

She had not been expecting that. Though she had had the same thoughts about Jane being too good for her. She didn't expect the normally calm and confident Jane Rizzoli to think that way. She hadn't even felt that way about Garrett or Ian. But Jane, Jane frightened her with her goodness.

"Jane! No, honey no." Maura admonished, reaching up and cupping Jane's face again, trying to convince the beautiful detective in her hands that she was completely worthy and entirely silly for thinking such thoughts.

"Yeah," Jane drew the syllable out and Maura was about to interject once again, but it seemed that Jane wasn't finished, "she's really pretty and really smart and rich and she's a college and she's better than me."

"Jane, no – Wait, did you just call me a college?"

"Maybe, I dunno. Words are hard." Maura kissed her cheek again, once again loving the fact that Jane was so open. But now her deceit would be on full display because she intended to have this conversation with Jane once the detective was sober.

"It's okay though, 'cause I think Maura loves me too." Jane finished.

"She does, she really does sweetie." She could be honest too.

"Shh, no tell Maura, she'd get mad if she knew I thought these things."

Maura's heart softened. They'd been going through the same struggle regarding each other it seemed. "Maybe only a little."

"Okay, I sleepy now." Jane whispered, finally letting the struggle for sleep to overtake her tired body.

"Okay my love, you go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

It seemed that Jane was already asleep, her soft breaths coming even and deep and the grip on her fingers a little slack, but still prevalent. Maura kissed both the fingers and forehead before settling more fully into her chair, preparing for the long night ahead of her, and letting her mind come to rest on the fact that Jane loved her, and that they would face whatever the future held for them together, the slender fingers in her hand an anchor in a stormy sea.

* * *

Nearing the end friends. If someone can tell me the two pop culture references in this story they will win a prize. (Prize is a story of their choosing. I have a list of pairings to choose from, will be sent to the winner, and any kind of story they want. Lemon, first kiss, second kiss, baby fic, whatever.)


	4. Chapter 4

"It's like Frankenwrist." Jane complained to the room. The doctor who had come to look at her incision and check swelling had consented to let the group who had arranged in the room stay while he did his work, and even good naturedly allow Jane to show off his handy work.

Her skin was red with dried blood and swollen slightly with a grotesque yellow and purple matrix of colors. The twenty five stitches holding the flesh together over crisscross of incisions were an even more frightening scene than Jane could even have imagined.

"You know," Tommy began, his head titled to the side and his eyes squinted as he peered at her upraised wrist, "If you look at it like this, it kind of looks like lightning."

"I can see it," Frankie added, "All you need now is a wand, Janie, and you could be Harry Potter." The rest of the room erupted in laughter, even the surgeon spared her a small chuckle.

In the hubbub that followed as the room started speaking again, Jane's eyes sought Maura's, loving the way that the medical examiners gaze made her feel. She was nervous about this new set of injuries to her hand, but mostly for Maura. Jane had spent most of the last 24 hours under the influence of heavy narcotics, and hadn't really had any time alone with Maura, to discuss what was going to happen with them.

She already had insecurities where Maura was concerned, and while Maura was the only one she let touch her hands these days, could the pristine and perfect doctor handle this new set of scars. Almost as if Maura could read her mind, she offered Jane a slight nod in the crowded room. Jane smiled widely, feeling the happiness throughout her body, excitement over the future with Maura infecting all of her.

Even with her Ma in the room.

"So doc, when do you think I can leave this joint?" She asked, and he didn't even pause what he was doing to answer, just kept wrapping her wrist lightly and setting it down on the pillow in her lap.

"Tomorrow, but maybe the next day. As of now, you won't need traction, but it is still slightly swollen, and the hemavac is still drawing out the excess fluid in the wound. Tonight for sure." Jane groaned, as the young doctor left, smiling and accepting the thanks of her family.

Frost and Korsak, who had given her a stern talking to, their praise and a warning that the city was once again in talks to give her an award. The school was already singing her praises and the hospital was complaining about the amount of flowers and balloons she was receiving.

Her Ma had cried for ten minutes straight, babbling about death and life and boyfriends and grandkids, and all of that stuff, then hugged Jane so tightly that the detective thought she might burst.

Frankie and Tommy had brought her real food, made by their Ma, and prompted by Maura. Light hugs and kissed cheeks later, they backed up, giving her the space that she loved and preferred.

But it was Maura that she really cared about. Maura, who had been there since before surgery, a strong grip on her fingers and a smile that seemed to never end. Jane knew that Maura had been with her since they'd gotten to the hospital, her clothes gaining their wrinkles, something that she knew Maura hated, but she hadn't complained. Not once, not ever. And Jane loved her all the more for it.

But this morning, when she was unceremoniously awoken at five by the nurse who had come to check on her, Jane sent Maura home for a quick shower and change. Jane counted every second of the 78 minutes Maura had been gone, but was exceptionally happy when the doctor came back, coffee in hand, fresh clothes (and not the hoity toity Paris runway fashion she normally wore, dark washed jeans an old Boston Homicide t-shirt of Jane's and a zip up Red Sox sweater which Jane was sure was the sexiest thing she had ever seen the doctor wear) and a smile on her face.

They were joined quickly by her Ma and the rest of the gang which brought them to now, the six of them squished into a space made for the comfort of only two or three. No one seemed to mind though, least of all Jane. This scene just reinforced her knowledge of the love she was surrounded by. Jeremy had missed out and Jane knew how lucky she was to have these people.

Even when she found them annoying.

But she didn't participate in their conversation. She let the five of them talk, content to just watch her family interact and steal glances at Maura, whom she caught stealing glances back. Jane just wanted to be alone with Maura. Wanted to talk, wanted to just be with.

"Well Janie," her mother began, smile in place and comforting hand placed on the safety of Jane's shoulder. "We should let you rest."

"Yeah, me and Frost have a lot of paperwork to do. Thanks do you Rizzoli." Korsak made a face at her, mirrored by Frost, but Jane saw the love they had for her shining in their eyes. These words were never spoken between them, but they had a truce between the three of them. They were a team, they had each others backs.

"Thanks guys. You know how much I love paper work." She winked at them and waved goodbye as they left.

"I have a beat to get to." Frankie said, with a last kiss to Jane's cheek and soft punch to the shoulder.

"Me and Tommy are gonna go shopping. We're gonna make gnocchi and sauce and we'll bring you real food tomorrow. I love you Janie."

"Ma, I can't make gnocchi." Tommy replied, a lopsided grin on his face with a wink at Jane.

"Neither can Jane, doesn't stop her from helping." Angela replied, pulling Tommy from the room.

"Love you too Ma." Jane called to their retreating backs, finally laying back against the raised head of her hospital bed.

Jane smiled at Maura from her bed, indicating with her eyes and body that she wanted the blonde woman to come forward. Maura did as she was asked, after closing the door, leaving a slight crack between frame and door.

"Hey." Jane whispered, patting the bed beside her.

Maura climbed up carefully, ensuring not to jostle the bed too much, lest she hurt Jane's arm some more.

"Hey yourself, sweetie." Jane loved when Maura called her sweetie. Not that it hadn't happened before, but this was new, this was different. This time it meant that Maura was claiming her, in her own way.

Maura sat with her legs hanging off the bed, hip resting against Jane's side, one arm leaning on the bed opposite Jane's body, casted wrist resting against her stomach where she gently placed her fingers under Jane's immobile ones. Jane placed her left arm across Maura's lap, her hand spread across Maura's strong but delicate hip. Both woman savored the closeness and the ability to be this close that the privacy they had been granted offered them.

"I'm sorry Maura. I hadn't realized that they would be here that long." Jane had just really wanted to be alone with the honey blonde, so she could stare unabashedly at the woman that she loved.

"It's not a problem Jane, they love you, they wanted to make sure you were okay for themselves." Maura replied, smiling down at Jane, her hazel eyes shining.

"I know they do." Jane responded, shifting herself closer to the doctor.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. My head doesn't hurt any more, and neither does my wrist, a lot at least, but I'll live."

"I'm very glad to hear that." Maura responded, shifting her hand to the arm Jane had wrapped around her waist, squeezing the muscles in her forearm.

"I'm glad you're here Maura." Jane whispered, suddenly feeling like an awkward teenager on their first date.

"Nowhere else I'd rather be sweetie. Nowhere." Jane's heart soared at the conviction in Maura's voice, loving the way she didn't have to tamper down the feelings she was feeling, not used to this emotional freedom when it came to Maura.

"How are you?" Jane asked, her fingers now slightly squeezing the hip she was holding.

"I'm a little nervous."

"Why are you nervous?"

"There's something I want to talk to you about, but I'm afraid that you might be mad about it, and the fact that I know." Maura said.

Jane was a little worried now. Was Maura having second thoughts about them? Already. They weren't even a them yet, and her Jane was panicking. Again, as if she were able to read Jane's mind, she quickly added, "Not that, no, you I'm sure about, but I did a bad thing last night."

Jane nodded, feeling slightly better, but what bad could a woman who couldn't lie do. Jane was sure it wasn't much. "What was this bad thing?"

"Do you remember waking up after your surgery?" The M.E. asked, her voice wavering and unsure.

"Not really, no." Jane couldn't remember anything since she and Maura had said goodbye before surgery.

"Hmm," She paused, a blush rising up her neck and staining the blondes cheeks, and Jane found the sight adorable and heartwarming. "I may have asked you some questions while you were under the influence… and you may have told me some secrets that you probably wouldn't have told me other wise…"

"What exactly did we talk about?" Jane couldn't remember anything. And now she was slightly nervous. What had she drunkenly divulged that had Maura wanting to talk about this badly that she would feel this way.

"Love, being high, your bad language tendencies, you being bad, you called me a college, and told me I wasn't allowed to use big words." The words all came out in a rush, but Jane had a feeling that Maura wasn't telling her anything, because none of that, expect maybe the college thing, were things that they spoke about on a regular basis.

"Anything else?"

"You may or may not have told me that you thought I was better than you." Maura said it with her eyes closed, and Jane sighed, somewhat thankful that she would have this open conversation with Maura.

So what if it were fueled by a narcotic induced state of inebriation. Jane could deal. Except for the fact that her insecurities instantly flooded her whole body and she felt a shiver run through her. But Maura was still here, had still told her that she loved her, the blonde hadn't left and was still drawing mindless patterns on her arm.

"And…?" She asked, wanting to know Maura's opinion on the matter. Because Jane was right, Maura was better than her, in every conceivable way. Jane wasn't jealous or bitter, it was just fact. She just worried that Maura might be settling for her, and she didn't want that. Maura deserved the best, and while Jane hoped that she was that best, she knew that she probably wasn't.

Here she was, they weren't even a them yet and she was writing them off as well.

"I think that's an incredibly asinine thing to think."

"Did you just call me an ass?" Jane tried for joking. It didn't work.

"No, but how could you think something like that?" Maura asked, her tone even and her voice sad.

"Because it's true Maur."

"No it's not." Maura quickly rebutted Jane, her voice wavering, tears gathering in her eyes.

"Yeah it is. You're smart, so smart, you're beautiful and cultured and you have manners and a fancy college degree. You've seen the world; you're the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts for crying out loud. And oh my god, you're a doctor. Everyone with a kid that's not a doctor wants their kid to marry a doctor." Jane finished on a huff.

"Are you proposing to me, or is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?" Maura asked with a glint in her eye.

"Now? Of all the times you decide to get the hang of joking, you chose now?" Jane asked, tightening her fingers on Maura's waist, afraid that the doctor would leave.

Jane didn't want that.

"Jane, you're being ridiculous."

"Tell me those things aren't true. Go ahead, tell me they aren't. And don't lie, you can't remember, hives and all."

"While their validity may or may not be true, you are forgetting some pretty key points in your argument."

"Huh?" Jane asked, confused.

"You are smart, beautiful and confident. You are an accomplished woman, selfless and brave. Strong and caring and compassionate. Plus one pretty big error that you seemed not to have contemplated."

"What's that?"

"My choice in the matter."

Again, with the confusion, so she raised an eyebrow, indicating her confusion instead.

At that Maura carefully extricated herself from Jane's arms and moved herself a little closer to Jane's upper body and leaned over Jane, leaning their foreheads together, and cupping Jane's cheek with her palm, smiling down at Jane.

Her heart rate increased. Her palms started sweating and the entire world blurred until it was just the two of them.

"What do you choose?' Jane whispered, lifting her left hand and wrapping it around Maura, lifting the fingers of her broken hand to touch the soft flesh of Maura's stomach.

"You Jane. I choose you."

And with that Jane knew what it was to kiss Dr Maura Isles.

It was heaven.

And fire.

And rain.

And perfection.

It was soft, and inviting and a promise, a solemn vow, an oath.

It was fireworks not on the fourth of July.

It was a source of salvation for her wandering heart.

An oasis in the desert after a lifetime of struggling.

It was fucking poetic.

Beautiful and shit.

Moving her hand to Maura's neck, Jane pulled her closer, deepening the kiss with a swipe of her tongue to Maura's lips and was granted immediate entrance and they sank into their first kiss together. Maura's arms wrapped around her and they stayed locked like that until the need for air became overpowering.

They pulled apart, rather reluctantly, breathing deeply and smiling, foreheads resting against each other, chests heaving with the intake of oxygen. Jane could feel every fiber of her being calling for Maura. She was tingling all over, electricity was flowing between them, and she couldn't get enough of it.

How she'd lived without that for 34 years she would never know.

"Wow…" Maura finally breathed into the space between them. Jane pulled back to look at her, and all that fire and electricity she was feeling shot straight to her core, looking at Maura. Her lips were swollen from their kisses, her hair was messed, Jane didn't remember doing that, and pupils were dilated with was unmistaken wanton lust.

"Yeah." Jane replied, pulling Maura's lips back to hers and kissing her softly, lightly. Holding back the unrelenting passion and lust flowing through her body.

"Keep kissing me like that, and I'll always be choosing you." Maura said with a devious smile on her lips.

"I can do that." Jane responded.

And she did.

* * *

So... no one got my references. And that's okay. This was going to be the last bit, but I promised more. So you guys choose what you want. I'm only going to do one more chapter, so decide. (Lemon, more lighthearted fun, whatever.)

Also, I want to apologize for spelling and typographical errors. Truth be told, I don't have a beta and I can't proofread. Even if I could, I wouldn't. I hate my writing, honestly. So I publish straight away. Anyways, I apologize.


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you think she will be upset if I choose Harvard?" The tall, muscled young man asked, a sense of nervousness in his 18-year-old voice.

Maura Isles was wholly and one hundred percent convinced that this boy before her was more Rizzoli than he was Isles. Though she had been the birth mother, he was technically and genetically half her and half an Italian looking stranger from the sperm bank, he was more Jane than he was Maura.

And she wasn't even mad.

Because he was her son, her tall, six foot nine son, who was so good at basketball he was given the rare opportunity to choose where he wanted a full ride scholarship. There were four schools in her son's sights, three on the top of the rankings and Harvard. Harvard, here in Boston.

Maura knew where she wanted her baby to go. She wanted him close. His siblings wanted him close, Maura was one hundred percent certain that her wife wanted him close as well. But Jane had also been talking about nothing but Kentucky, Ohio State and North Carolina for the last 18 years, Harvard was not a top NCAA contender.

Jake wanted nothing but to make both of his mothers proud, but he also had his own dreams, which Maura knew about, but hadn't really shared with Jane.

"Jake, sweetie, can you sit down please. I didn't bring my fourteen inch heels." Maura asked her giant of a baby boy, and he did sit, bringing their faces to an almost even level. At five foot five inches, he still was an inch taller than her.

"Sorry Ma." Maura's heart melted whenever he called her that, his deep baritone so beautiful and deep.

"Your mother loves you Jake. She loves you, and she wants you to be happy." Of that, Maura had no doubt. Jane wanted what was best for their son. If he thought Harvard was best, then Jane would be happy. It may not be the final four she wanted, but Maura knew that her wife was a big softy when it came to Jake, she would be happy if what he wanted was to play guitar in a garage band.

Maura was infinitely happy that _that_ dream had been lost when he got his gangly hands on a basketball and shot up thirteen inches and six shoe sizes in twelve months.

"Are you sure?" He asked, insecurity in his voice, as odd there as it was in Jane's voice. Maura loved how much Jake was a Rizzoli.

She had chosen the name Jake for a reason.

"Baby, why do you want to go to Harvard?" Maura questioned, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders, his arm wrapping around her waist, and hugging her tight.

"They said that I could row crew, and if I do a bachelor of science, I can get into med school easier. Also, I could do a fifth year during med school." Maura was shocked and surprised that he wanted to be a doctor. He was smart, very smart, and capable, but he had never shown any interest in the field before.

"Are you choosing med school because of me?"

"No Ma, I want to work for Doctor's Without Borders. I want to be a surgeon. I want to save lives." He paused, pulling her tighter to him and resting his head on her shoulder, his voice low and sad. "I love basketball, I do, but I wanna make Momma happy. And that's Ohio."

"Oh baby, you have to know that your momma will love you no matter what you choose." She kissed the top of his head, the dark black hair dark and wavy and a little bit longer than she would like, but he was able to make his own decisions. "I want you to choose what makes you happy. If that's Harvard, choose Harvard. If that's not basketball, you can choose that too."

"What about momma?" He asked, pulling back to look at her. His dark blue eyes boring into hers, insecurity leaving and determination taking its place.

"I've been married to your momma for a long time, little man, I can handle her." And Maura would ensure that Jane wouldn't make Jake feel bad for whatever decision he would make. Though she was sure no interference would be necessary, Jane would be happy for Jake.

"Okay Ma." She kissed his cheek, and hugged him one more time before leaving him to go sit with Jane and their other children.

News cameras filled her living room, and her family filled the rest of the spaces. In front of her fireplace, a table rested with four hats on it, each with an anxious coach eyeing each hat.

"He okay?" Jane asked, leaning forward and whispering in Maura's ear, her anxiousness seeing from her body in the form of a bouncing knew where four-year old Zach bounced, his blonde curls swaying with his momma's exuberance. Twelve year old Angela, the spitting image of Maura, sat with her legs swinging from her chair, red converse shoes untied and loose. Sixteen year old Constance smiled at her mother's antics and patted the knee that was stable and still.

"He's good. He's nervous, but he's good." Maura answered, pulling one of Jane's hands towards her, entwining their fingers, and squeezing the hand. Jane's knee stilled and Zach turned towards Jane and laughed. "Momma, keep bouncing!"

"You haven't had enough of my nervous ticks?" Jane asked the four year old, leaning forward and kissing his forehead.

"What's nervous mean?" He asked, his voice full of innocence and happiness.

"It means, Mr. Zach, that your momma is a little bit scared of the news cameras and what Jakey is going to do?" Maura answered her son, loving the way his blue eyes sparkled in the light, curious about everything and always with a thousand questions. She loved their children, and they all held a special place in her heart.

"What's he doing? Just choosin' a hat. That's easy. Grandma makes me choose a tie for church, it's easy."

Both Jane and Maura smiled at the response, Zach's innocence and love for his brother spilling out and his happiness at the situation infecting Maura.

"Okay, here we go." Jane murmured as Jake came out from the kitchen and sat at the table before him, camera flash bulbs flashing, reporters clamoring for their son's attention. His trade mark, nurtured Rizzoli, grin in place, blue eyes shining wavy hair tucked back.

"He's got this Jane." Maura whispered in her wife's ear, stopping to kiss a cheek and offering another finger squeeze for her nervous wife.

"Jake, how does it feel to be this popular, this wanted?" Someone called.

"Uh, it feels good. A little overwhelming, but good." He answered smoothly, and Maura listened as Jane breathed a sigh of relief, burying her face in Zach's hair, the four year holding still offering his mother comfort.

"How have you approached this decision?"

"I've taken a look at what's important to me, now and in the future, and what kind of basketball I want to play. Also my family." Maura smiled, and watched as the other four members of her family smiled, each of them offering Jake their own form of support.

"What about the NBA? Do you want to play in the NBA?"

"Doesn't every Boston kid want to throw on the Celtic's green and win that Championship?" Maura didn't know much about the basketball dreams of children, but Jane and Jake had talked of nothing else. Frankie and Tommy too.

"Have you made a decision?"

Maura watched as both Jake and Jane took deep breaths, steadying themselves, Jake to make his decision known and Jane too keep herself calm. "Momma, it'll be okay." Zach whispered in his momma's ear and turned in her embraced and hugged her.

"I have, yes."

"Then let's do that, Rizzoli-Isles."

Jane's head snapped up, and watched as Constance and Angela grasped hands. Maura made eye contact with her son, and nodded offering her support to her first born, his return smile filled Maura with peace for whatever he chose.

"I choose…" His hand raised and hovered over the dark blue hat of Kentucky university, and for a heart wrenching moment, Maura thought that he would chose for them, but then his hand shifted towards the crimson hat, and Maura breathed out at the same time as Jane did. "Harvard University."

Everyone started clapping, and Jane set Zach down who immediately ran to his brother who scooped him up as camera's flashed and hands were shook.

As Maura pulled Jane into a hug, Constance and Angela went to their brother as well and smiled for the camera's, hug sharing all around.

"He chose Harvard." Jane breathed into Maura's hair, holding her tight.

"Is that okay?" Maura asked, rubbing soothing circles on her wives back.

"I wouldn't have him anywhere else."

~You'reGonnaMissMeWhenI'mGone~

"Harvard isn't final four material. Is that okay?" Maura asked again, as they lay in bed, their hands intertwined between them as they lay in the relative darkness of their room.

"Yes." Jane answered, sure of herself and the fact that her baby would be close. She hadn't dealt well with the fact that he may have been moving away for four to five years. In fact she wanted him close. Harvard was a good choice. God her Ma would be insufferable.

"Good. I'm happy he's close to home. I might even learn to love basketball."

"What? So you've just been getting by these last six years with a passing fancy?" Jane smiled at her wife, still amazed at how in love she was with this woman.

"Something like that."

"Momma!" A tiny voice called from across the hall.

"Nightmares again?" Jane asked as Maura got up from the bed, and went to go see the cause of their youngest's worries.

"Maybe, but I'll go get him."

Jane watched Maura go, scooting over in the bed to make room for their baby in their bed. Zach would sleep with them tonight, and that didn't bother Jane in the least. She wasn't sure how she's made the transition from hard detective to mother, but she wouldn't change it. Her kids, and her wife, were her entire world. So much so, that she dropped the field work and mostly spent time behind a desk as captain of the major crimes unit.

Both of her blondes came back and she couldn't stop the smile that spread her cheeks.

"Hey buddy." Jane soothed the boy as he crawled over the bed and into her arms.

"Hey momma." He said into his stuffed dinosaur.

"Bad dreams?"

"Scary." He nodded, snuggling further into Jane while also reaching back for Maura's hand as she cuddled up behind him.

"Can we protect you buddy?" Maura asked, using her free and to rub circles on his back.

He nodded softly, already falling back to sleep.

Minutes passed by in silence as Jane and Maura just looked into each other's eyes, their sleeping son snoring lightly between them. Soft footsteps in the hall alerted them to the arrival of another of their children.

"Moms?" Constance whispered. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, just be quiet, Zach is sleeping." Maura whispered back, scooting closer to Zach to make room for their oldest daughter on the bed.

"I can't go to Harvard anymore, can I" She asked, hugging Maura from behind and snuggling into her mother.

"Why couldn't you?" Jane asked, reaching over and rubbing her hand along Constance's arm.

"Cause wonderboy will be a big star, and all I'll be is his little sister." Jane was certain that this was an actual issue for Constance.

"No sweetie, when you get to Harvard, he'll be your big brother. You'll be the cool one." Maura answered.

"If she goes to Harvard, we have to pick one who doesn't get to go to college." Jane joked, lightly tickling Constance's arm, who giggled.

"I wanted to go to Harvard too." Angela said from the doorway, coming into the room and settling behind Jane, back to back.

"All of you?" Jane asked incredulously. "I think I will nurture Zach's desire to go to clown college."

"Actually, from the research I've done, clown college is the price of three semesters of Harvard, so really, all of them want to go to Harvard."

"You guys are going to be the lame college mom's who wear shirts that say 'My kid made the dean's list' and wear lame Harvard Mom sweaters." Angela whispered to the room causing all four women to burst into laughter, jostling awake Zach who groaned and snuggled further into his mothers.

"Dang right we will be," Jane said eliciting more giggles from the room, which brought their last child into the room. He had to stop to get through the doorway, and the five of them had to bunch together to make room for his giant frame to fit on the bed.

"Nerdy mom project is a go." Jake said settling on the bed, his feet hanging off the edge. "You're really okay with Harvard Mom?" He asked.

"Yeah. Yeah I am." She said, loving that her whole family was in her bed. Except of course that they probably all couldn't fit.

All four had the same donor father, Donor 1654327-B to give them a sense of connectivity that they might not get from just them. Though they had agreed to that when they were first contemplating children, but Jane knew that no matter who their father was, these four wonderful children were totally Maura and Jane. She just worried that the combination of the donor and Maura, Zach and Jake, would yield another massive man. Then the four of them really wouldn't be able to fit.

"Good. I expect all of you to be at all my home games." He said with a laugh that rumbled the bed.

"Not if they interfere with debate." Constance chimed in.

"Or cello lessons." Angela added.

"Or soccer."

"Or swim practice."

"Or chess."

"Or snack time." That came from Zach who murmured sleepily into Jane's neck, and kissed the skin there. "Now shh, is sleepy time."

They all whispered apologies, and contrary to what Jane had been expecting, none of the older three made a move to get out of their bed. Jake, using his extraordinary reach covered them all with a blanket, and Constance turned off the light, snuggling back into her Ma.

Goodnight's and love-you's were whispered all around as everyone settled in.

"And you said we wouldn't need the king-size bed. _No Maura, what do we need a king-size bed for._"

"All right, we get the point." Jane responded in the dark to another round of giggles.

Yep, she wouldn't trade this for anything. Not even a bed with just her and Maura.

* * *

So that's the end. The two pop culture references were the "I'm high as a mother fucker." From 50/50 the movie. And the drug addled candour from The Big Bang Theory.

I want to tank every one for reading and your reviews and everything. You guys are great. Only need 19 reviews to make it to fifty. Help me out here guys.

I'll be back, and make good choices.


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